Troll Bridge
Based on what I'm reading here, I'm inferring a few of your governing principles:
1) Feelings are paramount - more important than anything else, really.
2) Of all the feelings that exist in the world, yours are the most important.
3) Your own inner life is so important that nothing deserves more of your energy, not even empathy.
4) You bear no responsibility - for anything.
For someone with at least half a brain, it strikes me how self-centered and ineffectual you are.
Other than the need for gender reassignment, what makes you so special that you think others would find your mutterings worth reading?
You really need to get on with your life.
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Someone replied to one of my earlier posts with this, and I thought that this might make a good time to clarify some points regarding this journal.
I started this journal purely for my own sake, as I have found that writing down my thoughts and feelings tends to ease my mind and release stress. As time went on and I started coming out to friends, they would ask me questions about the transition process and what they could expect. Since I had answered a lot of their questions in here already, it seemed like it would make sense to share it with people who were interested in what I'd be going through without forcing it upon those who aren't. Frankly, I don't think that there are many people who actually read this blog with any sort of regularity - if that's the case, it doesn't bother me because high readership wasn't my original intent.
What I would like to do with this journal is to document some of the thoughts and feelings that I've experienced through the last two years, so that transexuality in general becomes less taboo. I can't stress enough how hopeless I felt before I started taking steps to transition, and how happy I am now because I took the gamble. I don't feel like people should live their lives in fear of rejection from people like the poster above, and so if I can spread that message even a little bit then I'm going to do what I can.
For the original person who replied, let me answer your points above:
(1) I don't disagree.
(2) Change "in the world" to "in my world" and I would agree with that as well. If I think I should order chicken and you think I should order steak, guess what I'm eating for dinner tonight?
(3) Again, if you're accusing me of focusing as much effort as I can into self-improvement, then I agree with you. I can only control the actions of one person - me.
(4) I'm going to need examples of where you got that from before I can reply to it, because I'm a bit stumped there.
By definition, an autobiographical journal is going to be "self-centered". This is because there are always going to be people who see me as "the tranny" and nothing more. My way to combat that is to try to have people see things from my point of view. Right now, you're obviously not, because you're simply trying to prove that I'm wrong instead of seeing things my way.
I would like to know what they would do differently if you were me. You interstingly use (flawed) logic as a way to attack the validity of my emotions. It doesn't make sense to take my feelings and accuse me of trying to create some absolute truth with them, because you are the one who did that, not me. In my eyes, your comment hardly seems like it's meant to be constructive, so given that I see no reason why I should take it any further than this. If you would like to take the conversation further, please feel free to IM me (The Flipt Script) or send me an email (the.moma.dance at gmail dot com) and we can talk - I want to know what it was that drove you to reply to me in the first place, because maybe there are facets of my life or writing that can be improved. Otherwise, I'm going to just assume that you're trolling* and end the discussion here.
(to those not in the know: "trolling" = purposely provoking arguments)
Comments
michelle, blogs are supposed to be self centered rantings. next time dont waste ur time answering emails like that. I like ur blog and hope you continue being happy. :)